Introduction to Andrew
Hi! My name is Andrew Barton and I am currently a senior here at OU. My major is pre-medicine/biochemistry, so obviously this class is a little out of range from what I normally am taking during the semester. Right now, being a senior, I am applying to medical school. This is definitely not an easy process, but I am almost done with the application aspects of it. If I had to choose as to what medical school I could attend, it would be OU, since this is my home and I would be absolutely privileged to serve the community, especially where help is needed most. This summer, I went on one vacation to Seacrest Beach in Florida. For the remainder of the summer, I took Quantitative Analysis here at OU. The class wasn’t too terrible – the only “bad” part of the class was that lab was four times a week from 10:30-1:20. Other than those two things, my summer was pretty relaxing. I’m involved in a few student-led organizations at OU, with the primary one being Soonerthon. I have served o
Hey Andrew! I really enjoyed your storybook intro. Urban legends have always interested me, and I think your topic will be great for this course. I’m not from Texas, but much of my extended family lives there and I’ve visited countless times. Your idea of re-telling stories in creative new ways with a focus on backstories sounds great. I think the more descriptive you are in these stories the better they’ll be. A vivid, scary setting will help your tales come to life! I also like the emphasis you’re planning to place on cars and roads. Will your characters be on the road when they stop and see something scary? I hope you go into detailed accounts of how scared your characters are when they encounter the ghosts/spirits! The “donkey lady” tale especially intrigues me. Is this literally a donkey/woman mutant? Can’t wait to find out! This all looks good, and this introduction was a great starting point for your storybook. Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteHey Andrew! As a fellow Texan, it was hard for me not to pick your storybook. Where are you from? I've bounced around the Dallas area almost my entire life, but I'm loving life here in Norman. This definitely was not what I expected, though. I hadn't heard these stories before, and I'm really looking forward to reading them later on this semester. I think the bluebonnets was definitely a nice touch for your home page image; not a lot of people know that's the state flower. I think you do a great job of giving a glimpse of each story as well as the setting for the stories. I wonder what your intro would look like if you wrote a little bit from the perspective of the protagonist in each story. I don't know what point of view you're writing them from, but maybe you could at least set the stage for your pages. I thought that you did a great job overall! Looking forward to reading more of your stories this semester.
ReplyDeleteHey Andrew!
ReplyDeleteI am also from Texas, so this title jumped out at me from the list. The decision to make your storybook about Texas urban legends is a great one. I am from Dallas and remember being told many urban legends as I was growing up. Texas has such a rich and unique history too. I definitely think you picked the right state. I was slightly confused as far as your approach. For example, are these just retelling of Texas urban legends or do you intend to add your own flair to them? You could take the perspective of someone in the story or just mix a few things up. Regardless, I think you are a gifted storyteller and I was surprised because I had not heard of any of these urban legends, prior to reading your site. This was shocking because again, I grew up in Texas. Good luck on the rest of your project!
Hey Andrew,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your introduction. I was born in Lewisville but was adopted and taken to Oklahoma right away, so I never got to hear about these legends. I have always found urban legends very satisfying to read about because there is sometimes truth to what is being told. What I really like was you letting us know what urban legends we were going to be reading about. I always find it very helpful to be told what to expect instead of guessing, because if I am wrong, then I am disappointed. The way you talk about how you are going to tell these stories reminds me of the horror film Southbound. It is a collection of urban myths in a rural desert setting and it could provide some inspiration on how to tackle your stories in the modern times. I was just wondering what perspective you were going to use. Is it going to be from the spirits or from a different person each story? I think it would be pretty neat to have them all connected somehow but that is just me thinking out loud. I cannot wait to read your stories!
Hey there Andrew! I just had the chance to take a look at your project. I was curious to see what it was about when I looked at the title. I loved the picture that you chose for your home page, but maybe you should consider finding a new banner image for your introduction page, just to mix things up a bit. Your site was bright, and easy to read... which is much appreciated! After reading through your introduction I have to admit that my interest is peaked. As a native of Oklahoma, I am curious to read some stories that I have near heard before. I like how you plan on tying in stories from this class along side the stories that you were told as a little kid. I think the best writers are able to find a connection between their lives and their writing, and you are definitely headed down the right path in that case. I look forward to visiting your project again in the future!
ReplyDeleteHello Andrew!! The title of your project really drew me into reading through your intro and website in general. The homepage was amazing to look at. I am very much a visual person. A good and nice looking title page really draws me into reading and taking extra time to look at something. The picture that you used on the homepage is amazing with all the flowers and amazing scenery. The next part that got me interested was the name of the storybook. Urban legends of anything are really cool to read and learn about and being that the legends are from Texas makes the storybook even more interesting. The introduction was a really fun read and I am excited to see what becomes of the storybook that you are going to be creating. One question I have is that if you are retelling or putting your own spin on stories. It would be pretty sick to put your own spin on urban legends and would truly make it a great storybook and personal to yourself! I am excited to see what you have instore for the rest of the semester!!
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteI just want to start off by saying I like the way your website looks! The pictures fit quite well with the stories and with the introduction. I do have to comment that I find it odd the placing of the Introduction of the right side of the story. I feel as though it should go Introduction first then story. As for the story I found it to be quite entertaining. The whole way through I was wondering where the inspiration for such a story came from. It was very creepy, and I almost wished you went into a bit more detail to make it even more grotesque. I think though that it leaves something to the imagination. I like how you took the original story and made a story out of the central theme. When I read the title, I already pictured a woman who was part donkey, but I figured it would be a happy story, not so much a creepy one. Well done! I was thrown from a loop from the beginning.
Hi Andrew,
ReplyDeleteI decided to read this story book because I'm from Texas and I wanted to see what you were going to share with us. I know some of the urban legends of Texas, but I thought why not learn more that will creep me out. I'm looking forward to learning some different ones, as well as reading about the ones I do know. The writing on your website is very well done, the words flow very well, and everything is cohesive. The first story you told was really vivid and the reader could almost feel that they were in the character's shoes. You set the tone really peaceful and turned it to really scary with a good transition. I do think that adding the sinister character to the story helped make it more complete. The sinister character made my skin crawl while reading through. You do a great job of bringing the characters to life and making the reader feel their emotions. I did wonder how the sinister character got to the farm, was it premeditated or by chance?
Hi Andrew!
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting storybook! I typically do not like scary stories or urban legends but I really enjoyed Donkey Lady ! I really liked that the stories were based on Texas-associated urban legends. I am from Texas so I was intrigued right off the bat. One aspect that I think you did an excellent job on in your stories was the use of adjectives. The way you described how the dead donkey looked and the smoke filled attic was incredible. I could literally picture it in my head as I was reading it.
One question I had while reading the story was about the appearance of the Donkey Lady. At first, it said that Donkey Lady looked like a burn victim and had disfigured limbs. However, at the end of the story it said that the Donkey Lady resembled the donkey that was dead on the land. Which one did the Donkey Lady look like? If she had the appearance of both, how exactly did she look like both? I just found that descriptive part to be a little bit confusing and I couldn't exactly picture how she looked in my head.
Overall, I thought your story was very suspenseful and I can't wait to read more of your storybook!
Hi Andrew,
ReplyDeleteBeing from Texas myself, I thought it would be super cool to learn about some of the urban legends of the state. I was not disappointed. I thought the story was very well written and the plot was fantastic. Quite frankly, most storybooks on here have relatively simple plots, but I did not expect at all what yours was about. I think you did a really good job of portraying the emotions of the main character, which was extremely descriptive and made me feel like I was the character. Additionally, the plot was very logical and I enjoyed the ending. Honestly, I hadn't heard of any sort of Donkey Lady myth, so it was a lot of fun to learn about. The only suggestion I might have is to set the tone of the scary man with more descriptive detail. However, I think the story is just fine without any changes at all as well, the rest is just subjective!
Great project so far, Andrew! Myths and folklore concerning areas that are close to home have long fascinated me. I have done quite a bit of reading so far on Oklahoma stories, but I have not got to read many Texas stories yet so I was excited to see your title! I appreciated the thoroughness of your introduction page and how it described exactly what to expect from the stories on your webpage. Reading what the stories would be about made me excited to start reading them beforehand! Overall, I think your Donkey Lady story is written clearly and very suspensefully, especially in the part describing the creature who mutilated the donkey. My only suggestion would be to give a little background on the creature and possibly explain what drove it to kill the family and cause them so much trauma. Otherwise, great writing so far and I am excited to read the rest of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Andrew!
ReplyDeleteI, too, am from Texas so I was very intrigued by your storybook. I appreciated how you introduction connected the stories to real places that are still around today. I also enjoyed how your stories are told in the present day while reflecting on the past. While reading, I couldn't help but wonder how long ago the events in the story of the Donkey Lady supposedly took place. It might be nice to have more information about the origins of the stories beyond the fact that they are from Texas either in your author's notes or somewhere in your introduction. I also wanted to know more about the stranger who killed the family and brought them back to life. Why was he able to do this? Why would he do this? Is he even human? Adding more information about him I think would make the story more compelling. I really the idea behind your project and I am excited to see the finished project!
Hey Andrew! I the spirit of OU TEXAS I clicked on this story. I am not from Texas but everyone from there loves it so much, there must be a rich history! I really liked how your stories were told in present tense. It made me feel more apart of the story. However, I would love some more details. Because I didn't hear about these stories growing up (and I know I can't be the only one--not that many people are from Texas) the original stories are all new to me. Your author's notes need lots of detail! However, the plot of your storybook is interesting and very well done. Your stories are original and you have done a really nice job!
ReplyDeleteAndrew,
ReplyDeleteI read your story that was a take on the Donkey Lady. I think you did a great job creating an exciting and engaging story. It was dark, but I was kept interested the whole time wondering what would happen next. I loved that you used the base of the story but found aspects of it you thought could be improved upon and ran with it. Your ability to write and use descriptive language was fantastic.
I am a little curious as to what some of the background on this dark individual was? Did they have a past that made them this way? Or maybe they held a grudge against this family for some reason. I was wondering if in revisions there was more of an explanation as to why this individual targeted this family.
One suggestion I have would be to consider giving a tiny bit more detail to what happened to the father. I was hoping I would get some information on that as well!
Overall really great, this was one of the best stories I have read so far!
Hey Andrew! As a fellow Texan, I was so excited to see your project. I have a whole book called "Weird Texas" that talks about Texas myths and other weird things about our state! My personal favorite is the story of the Goatman's Bridge, which is in Denton, my hometown... but I guess I could be biased :) I am already familiar with Woman Hollering Creek and White Rock Lake, but I had never heard the Donkey Lady story before, so I was excited to read it! It's definitely a good choice for an urban legend to delve into. One thing I did notice was that your introduction is so detailed and very thorough in explaining the stories to come, but I felt like the Donkey Lady story was lacking a little bit in detail. Even if you didn't expand the actual plot, it would be a really good story to use a lot of illustrating words and really paint a picture for the readers! There were also just a couple errors, maybe typos, so just make sure you proofread well. But overall, I really loved your story, and I definitely cannot wait to read the next two!
ReplyDeleteHi Andrew. I am from Texas too! I saw the title and instantly wanted to read it your project. First off, your Donkey Lady story is before the introduction tab in the top navigation bar. That is just something kinda random I noticed. As for the story.... it was so good. I was completely captivated by it. I was also a little scared haha! I had never heard of this story before so I was completely shocked by the ending. I wonder how the boy/narrator is able to tell us the story. Is he a ghost that also haunts people? Also, does the Donkey Lady attack people? If so, I may need to avoid all donkeys in Texas from now on. It is really interesting to think about. Are all of your stories going to be ghost themed or San Antonio themed? There are so many great legends in San Antonio, especially about ghost! Overall, well done!
ReplyDeleteHi Andrew!
ReplyDeleteGreat idea and VERY creepy story. What a great project.
I couple of few things I noted about the site: Intro is after the Donkey Lady links. You may want to correct that.
Also in the story, I had some questions about the point of view. It is first person from the son, but then you state what the evil spirit wanted. You may want to look at those sentences and make them speculation or something like that. Because he couldn't have known. Likewise, after the figure knocks him down in the pasture, you say he can't see, but immediately in the next paragraph, he can see that his dad saw him first, etc. Just some small details to flush out. Once those have been smoothed over you will have a really great, creepy feel to the story! Well done!
That was a really fun story. I enjoy a good ghost story, and it is always the better when it is within the realm of possibility, something that could have foreseeable happened. I really liked your story in this regard, it had all the trappings of spooky occult stuff, but all of the going ons were believable and I could imagine happening. I think that you chose a good picture for the background. The donkey lady in that image is awfully creepy and set up well for the story to come. You did a good job setting the scene of the creepy man and the dead donkey, I had no troubles envisioning it. It may prove to be a little much, but it may be interesting to go into exact detail on how the man went about making her face look like a donkey and exactly how he fused her fingers together into hooves, really paint the scene. It may be too intense, but I think it may also really add to the story.
ReplyDeleteHey there Andrew! For my free choice of commenting this week I had to click on your story based off the title. Being from Texas, a proud Texan at that, I had to see what your storybook was all about. I have not heard many urban legends from Texas, so I was even more interested. I really enjoyed your first story the Donkey Lady. I truly had no idea what to expect from the title, but I think that is what made it even better. One thing I would consider moving forward is adding a little more background on this story and its characters. I think more explanation on the creature and where it came from or what it is capable of would help the confusion I was feeling when I read through this the first time. I thought your storybook was very well written and the descriptive language used was great! I’m excited to read more in a few weeks!
ReplyDeleteHello Andrew. I chose to write about your storybook this week because in the title there are two things that interested me. One being Texas, the great state to the south of us. The next thing that interests me is urban legends. I loved how your storybook found and highlighted some of the lesser known urban legends in Texas and shined a light on them. I loved how you went into detail in describing the different urban legends. I also love your storytelling ability. The way you tell these stories about the urban legends brings them to life for me. You go into a great amount of detail when describing these different monsters and i think that because of that the quality of this story was brought up a huge amount. Overall this is a wonderful storybook and i am happy i chose to read it.
ReplyDeleteHi Andrew!
ReplyDeleteThis is a fantastic concept for a storybook! We often associate myth and folklore with ancient or foreign cultures, and it is important to remember that there are many myths very close to home! That said, I've never heard about any of the spooky Texas tales you mentioned, and I am excited to see how you bring them to life (or to death, rather.)
"The Donkey Lady" was extremely well-written, and I love the imagery that you've incorporated. The bit about the fingers fusing in the fire was particularly striking. I am curious about a few things, and perhaps they are questions meant to be left unanswered, but I'll venture to ask anyway. Who was the mysterious figure, and what exactly did he do to the donkey? Do the symbols have any significance to the rest of the legend? Also, when you say the mother comes to look more like the donkey, does that mean she literally takes on animal characteristics? Or perhaps the same symbols are carved into her body in the end? Finally, what does the donkey lady do to those who cross her path? Do they suffer a similar fiery fate to the one she endured? I only ask so many because your story got me really excited and interested in learning more about these legends! Excellent work, can't wait to read more.
Hi Andrew!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I love the bluebonnets on the homepage of your storybook. Being from Texas, I would have associated your storybook with Texas right off the back from that (even if it hadn't said Texas in the title!) I also like how you had a short blurb intro on the home page, different from the actual Intro page. For the actual Intro page, would you consider making that photo a different Texas symbol? Maybe like a yellow rose, or something else? I think it would be cool to have different Texas symbols for each page/photo (like the Texas flower, animal, flag, etc). I also loved your Donkey Lady story, it was so intriguing! One thing to consider, I was left wondering why the mom was no longer caring. Did something traumatic happen to her? That would be a cool addition if you need any more revisions! Great job!
Hey Andrew!
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your first story, and I had to return for the next installment. "The Creek" certainly did not disappoint! You mentioned in your author's note that you wanted to transform the original story from an urban legend into more of a ghost story, and I think you definitely achieved the desired effect of creating a spooky tale. I like the different layers you've added in introducing the figure of Charlie as a somewhat disturbed child, who has seen horrific violence and become fascinated by it. After Charlie looks into the water and says, "Mom?" it certainly made me curious as to whether or not his mom was in fact the woman of Hollering Creek. Perhaps in death Charlie's mom had joined the woman of the Native American legend in the Creek? And Charlie's end also raises questions: was he in search of his own mother all along, and did he want to be pulled under the water? Really awesome job!
Hi Andrew,
ReplyDeleteIt’s great to hear these urban legends from someone who grew up with them! As great as it is for us to read all these legends, myths, and stories, and as grateful as we should be that there are translated, compiled versions available, there’s still something that’s lost when you don’t get them in context, from someone who’s lived with them. In this case, you are that!
One stylistic note: the use of all-caps for emphasis tends to give a sort of an Internet-age feeling to things, and I’m not sure that’s what you were going for. (Using all-caps for other things can give a very 20th century typewritter feel, but that’s only for headers or full sentences.) I would recommend using italics, exclamation points, and trusting your reader’s sense of drama instead.
Best,
A.M.
Hello Andrew,
ReplyDeleteI have to say your donkey lady story was the creepiest one I've read yet. So congrats! It actually made me cringe at times which means you did a good job with detail. I like that you used ghost stories from your home state. I think that makes the story more personal and more fun. I wonder how popular these stories are? In your first paragraph I thought you did a good job of describing the beautiful wife and I like how it was described by the son. It almost made it more terrible to watch through the son's eyes. I thought the transition from talking about her while she was alive to talking about her current state was a little abrupt. Maybe you could add a smoother transition there? I might even just take that paragraph out so the story will have more suspense. When you mention San Antonio I would add Texas after that just to help the reader visualize the area. This man, thing, demon? It was very creepy! Your description gave me Jeepers Creepers vibes for sure. When you describe it taking you and your family into your home I would love more description of fighting back, maybe some dialogue to make the scene even more dramatic! Keep up with the creepy stories!
Hello Andrew!
ReplyDeleteI have read some of the stories in your storybook and I am very impressed with your work! These stories keep me at the edge of my seat and are very engaging. Additionally, they are the perfect length! They are not too long and not too short. It is very hard to accomplish that so you should be proud. As far as paragraphs go, the style you have adopted works great for these type of stories. I have noticed that most of your stories contain a bit of dialogue. With that being said, I feel that when stories contain dialogue in it, the authors typically use many, very short paragraphs to tell the story. You definitely incorporated that type of style and I appreciate that. That style of paragraph helps the reader have a better understanding of who is talking and what is happening. One thing I would suggest is perhaps making the format of the author's note different from the rest of your story. You could label your author's note, "Author's Note" or you could put your author's note in italics! Overall, great job on your storybook!
Hey Andrew, I read your story about the White Rock Lake ghost and right now, as early as it is, I got spooked. The imagery of the white girl and then the white girl in your photo creeped my out haha! Then when she got in the car I was like NOOOOOoO!. Anyways, You did a really good job building the story up, and in some ways, the fact that she just disappeared and it was just a puddle was a solid ending. One thing that I was expecting to happen but didn't happen was if the smile meant anything. I expected her to like kill somebody when you said that and I think the anticipation of what might happened was scarier than what actually happened. Perhaps once thing that could make it a bit better is to expand a little bit more on the author's notes about why you decided to choose this story! Great idea!
ReplyDeleteHey Andrew,
ReplyDeleteI really like your idea of using urban legends for your stories because they're stories I haven't heard before. I'm a sucker for stories that have a little bit of spookiness to them so I enjoyed reading "Donkey Lady." You did an excellent job of putting a lot of detail into the story, and as a result, I constantly had visions of the scenes in my head. I felt something bad was going to happen with the combination of large house (property) outside of town, night time, and unexpected silence. The scary part of the story was that the whole family was helpless and there was nothing they could do to protect themselves. That mystery figure was pure evil, making the son watch his mom get burned alive. I wish there was a little bit more dialogue though. I wonder what the dad and mom were saying and doing during all of this. Great job!